Date: 2009-08-18 12:58 Subject: Evil Dead: The Musical Security: Public

Anyone who thinks a production of Evil Dead: The Musical is going to get made in this town without my involvement is out of their ever lovin', monkey fuckin' minds. I'd even be willing to waive my usual paltry fee just for the chance to enjoy myself for a change.

Date: 2009-08-10 15:11 Subject: Some Thoughts on Monster Movies, Alien in Particular Security: Public

A brief but concise essay on what's wrong with monster movies today. Bonus: A brilliant portrait of a 'Vegalian' in the style of Arcimboldo.

Date: 2009-07-16 08:17 Subject: Shameless Plug Security: Public

I use Facebook more than LiveJournal these days but I really should get in the habit of cross-posting. Anyway, I got a nice mention on the Alamo Drafthouse's blog for building a display for the opening of the latest Harry Potter film. There were fans in costume, a band, a magician and free movie tickets and beer (for me anyway). Huzzah.

The obligatory link: Walk through Platform 9 3/4! | Alamo Drafthouse Cinema Blog
 
The obligatory, crappy cell phone camera picture of aforementioned event.

Date: 2009-06-30 09:51 Subject: Latest (non-paying) Gig Security: Public

I've got a gig designing and building a lobby display for the Alamo Drafthouse. There's no money in it, just freebies but seeing how I probably spend $100 or more each month at the Drafthouse this could work out to my benefit; especially if this becomes a recurring thing.

I'm just hoping that they give me the time and budget to do some really good work. I'm looking at the first assignment as I would an audition; an opportunity to prove myself to the management and a chance to see if I like working with the folks at the Drafthouse. Also, there might be a chance to do some networking, considering how many filmmakers are on a friendly basis with the Alamo's management.

First assignment is for the opening of a movie about some kid with wizarding powers or something like that. Sounds vaquely familiar.

Date: 2009-06-26 11:07 Subject: A Modest Proposal - The Michael Bay Version Security: Public

Michael Bay is one of the most critically reviled filmmakers of all time. His name is synonymous with style over substance, wretched excess and noisy, empty-headed spectacle that appeals only to the lowest common denominator - and that's what his admirers say about him! - and yet his movies make millions upon millions of dollars; billions once you combine their respective grosses, factor in the untold number of licensing and merchandising tie-ins and so on. I just read that his latest, Transformers 2, has set box-office opening day records in a matter of hours. While the majority of professional and amateur critics have declared the film unwatchable, vast hordes of film goers have plunked down their hard earned cash as though defiantly insisting that the film is, on the contrary, very watchable indeed. This should come as little surprise. Movies have always done well during hard economic times; mindless, escapist, feel-good movies, in particular. In spite of rising ticket prices and overpriced concessions, going to the movies is still a relatively inexpensive entertainment for families and most of us are willing to pay for the privilige of forgetting our problems while sitting in an air conditioned room and getting absorbed in the exploits of beautiful people who lead more interesting lives than our own.

In the first Transformers film, doubtlessly sensing a great marketing opportunity, Bay and company turned all of the heroic Autobot characters into American cars, specifically GM cars. Instead of a VW Beetle, Bumbleebee now changed into a Camaro. Instead of a Porsche, Jazz transformed into a Pontiac sportscar, Ratchet was no longer an ambulance but a Hummer and gone was Ironhide's mini-van disguise in favor of a sportier GMC Topkick. This may have infuriated Transformers purists (all eight of them) but dissatisfied filmgoers (all eight of us) chose to focus on Bay's crimes against cinema instead. The rest of the country - nay, the world - seemed to delight in Bay's film and altered their holiday plans so they could be sure to be near a multiplex the day the inevitable sequel premiered. Those unable to get out of previous commitments are encouraged to send checks or money orders to the studio on opening day and are expected to pay to see the film the following week.
( Read more... )

Date: 2009-06-09 15:41 Subject: khan.xls Security: Public

I had a strange dream the other night, I was working on a project and had, as usual, little time, money or resources to get the job done. I'm on the phone with Alex of the Shakespeare Festival who is calmly reassuring me that everyone is confident that I'll be able to make it work. The assignment? A video game based on Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Using only Excel spreadsheets.

Date: 2009-05-26 16:19 Subject: Wolf Shirt Security: Public

I have an annoyingly chipper co-worker* who likes to write silly things on my dry erase board. I handle these moments with as much understated dry sarcasm as possible but I'm not sure if this is having the desired effect. Today, she wrote "Marco owns a wolf shirt!" and then sent me the following link as explanation (you have to scroll down to read the customer reviews). Underneath her comment, I wrote "This is utterly false."
No sooner do I get her email than she pops her head into my cubicle.

CW: Did you get my email?
Me: Yes.
CW: Did you read it.
Me: Yes.
CW: Wait, did you actually read the whole thing that quickly?
Me: I skimmed it and got the gist of it. Very amusing.
CW: Are you going to read the whole thing?
Me: (firmly) I'll read it at a more appropriate time.
CW: C'mon I'll bet you want to buy a wolf shirt now, dontcha?
Me: No. I'm holding out for a vintage Molly Hatchet concert T. Something tells me it will obtain a similar result.

*I do actually like this co-worker, in spite of her grating laugh and constant silliness.

Date: 2009-05-20 16:12 Subject: Cats In Need of Rescue Security: Public

One of my co-workers passed away this weekend. He had a number of health issues and very few friends or family. He did, however, have two cats. Today, I got the following email and thought I would share it. If you or anyone you know is interested please have them drop me a line and I'll be happy to put them in contact with my supervisor who is handling these matters.

"Dear COS staff:

Neil shared his household with two beloved adult tabby cats.  Both cats have been taken to the Town Lake Animal Shelter awaiting someone to retrieve them on Neil’s behalf.  That doesn’t seem likely at this point, since Neil had no relatives in the Austin area and no one has come forward to claim his pets.  Time is quickly running out for them because of high numbers of cats at the Shelter this time of year, so action needs to be taken to find them a new home by Friday, May 22.

Please help.  If anyone is interested in taking Neil’s pets or knows someone who is willing to accept either one or both of them into a new home, please contact Pam for the details on how to retrieve these friends left behind."

Date: 2009-05-19 14:15 Subject: Mega-Shark vs Giant Octopus vs Final Girl Security: Public

If omglawdork loved gore, slashers, zombies and horror flicks of all kinds and then decided to blog about it I have a feeling the results would feel similar to that of blogger Tracie Ponder aka Final Girl.

I've enjoyed Final Girl's goofy, snarky commentaries and reviews on AMC Horror Hacker; the aforementioned Final Girl and her eponymous site StaciePonder.com.

Knowing omglawdorks love of craptastic cinema (i.e., Boa vs. Python) I couldn't help thinking of her as I read Final Girl's review of Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus.

Date: 2009-05-11 14:56 Subject: A Worthy Enterprise Security: Public

The latest Star Trek film made me go boldy where I have never gone before: namely, back to the movie theater to see a Star Trek film for a second time in its theatrical release.

Date: 2009-03-05 08:47 Subject: Who Vatches the Vatchmen? Security: Public

What's more fun than mocking fanboys or Hitler? Mocking Hitler as a fanboy, that's what.
Warning: There's at least one fairly large spoiler ahead.


By the way, The Downfall is actually a good film and worth watching. Besides, I'll watch Bruno Ganz in anything.

Date: 2009-03-03 13:15 Subject: Oh, yeah? Security: Public

COWORKER: There is no U or I in TEAM.
ME: No, but there is a ME in it.

Date: 2009-02-05 10:50 Subject: Allow Me to Retort Security: Public

A co-worker told me about an encounter with a jerkwad driver in a pick-up truck. He kept tailgating her aggressively, then he cut her off but not before shooting her the finger out of his open window as he roared on by. As he drove off she noticed his "What Would Jesus Do?" bumper sticker.

She rolled her window down, sped up alongside him and yelled, "Nice bumper sticker! Whatcha do? Borrow the truck?"
 

Date: 2009-02-02 20:57 Subject: Your Bank is Too Rank Security: Public

There's been a lot of talk about this "Bad Bank" concept that the Obama administration has proposed. Far be it from me to trivialize the most pressing economic issue of the day but the only thing that pops into my head is this crappy old commercial.

Date: 2009-01-28 10:47 Subject: Things I gave up/gained by moving to a new apartment Security: Public

Things Given Up:
Space, space, space
Central air and heating
An extra bedroom (read: workshop/storage area)
An extra bathroom
A (poorly designed) pantry

Things Gained:
Actual hot water and water pressure

Right now, that's feeling like a good trade off.

Date: 2009-01-25 23:17 Subject: My Kind of Woman Security: Public

I have a total crush on make-up effects artist Montse Ribé. I've seen her in lots of behind the scenes footage for Hellboy and Hellboy II (she even plays the young Hellboy), The Devil's Backbone, Pan's Labyrinth (for which she won an Oscar) and The Orphanage.

She has the gamine qualities of an Audrey Hepburn, a sexy Spanish accent and she imagines and sculpts the most horrifying creatures. I love a woman who isn't afraid to go into the shop and get her hands dirty. Oh, to meet a woman like her. Sigh.

Date: 2009-01-21 15:03 Subject: Eerily Prescient in a Funny Way Security: Public

HEADLINE: Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over' - January 17, 2001

Nostradumus must have been reincarnated as a comedian and got a gig writing for The Onion. This fake news article was published a mere three days before Bush's inauguration. Sure, this was funny 8 years ago but who could have known it would prove eerily prescient?
 

Date: 2009-01-20 13:40 Subject: Don't Get Cocky Kid Security: Public

Today marks a turning point in our nation's history and there is a sense of hope and pride the likes of which I have never seen in my lifetime. Nevertheless, we mustn't become complacent. No my friends, we must remain ever vigilant. 

Date: 2009-01-19 13:32 Subject: Goodbye W. Security: Public

To paraphrase Shakespeare: "Nothing in his [presidency] became him like the leaving of it."

Don't let the door hit you on the ass big guy.